Never beg someone to stay in your life. If they wanted to be there with you, they would be there.

• My mom

She gave me that piece of advice when I was 16, and in my first relationship. An ill-advised relationship with someone in their 20s. They were emotionally abusive, controlling, and they liked me to show them how much I wanted to be with them by begging for them to stay in my life.

It wasn’t long after she gave me that advice - no judgment, no yelling when I was in a fit of sobs - that I broke up with him for good. From that day forward, I applied that advice to every relationship whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial.

It was also that day my mom became my go to person for advice. Most of the advice I go to her for isn’t as deep as the advice I received from her all those years ago. Now days it’s more like:

• Can’t remember how long to cook a turkey for? Call mom.
• Baby is sick and nothing is bringing down the fever? Call mom.
• Had a really shit day and made some bad decisions? Call mom.

Sometimes her advice is to go forward, because you can’t take back what’s happened. You’ll know better next time. Sometimes her advice for me is the result of knowing me so well - that some things aren’t readily apparent, or that I already know but the information had slipped my mind because it was no longer at the forefront of my mind.

The other day, I messaged her complaining about how stupid uniforms are and that young children didn’t need them. Do you know why? Because I was struggling to sew in the name tag.

First thing mom asked? Did you pin it in place first?

Reader, I had not pinned it in place. I forgot I could pin things in place despite looking at the pins not two minutes before I began. I forgot despite spending a few months with my mom sewing!

So in honour of my mom, here is a list of advice I’ve received from her in no particular order:

• Turkey cooking: It’s 20 minutes per lb at 350F/160C with a fan
• If a baby’s fever breaks 40C, they probably have an infection and should be seen by a healthcare professional
• Dumping dirt out of your bagless vacuum may not be enough if its suction capability has reduced. You probably need to clean your filter. If it’s the one with the pleats and grooves, the non-pinchy end of tweezers will work to scoop all the gunk out. Just be gentle!
• If you’re breastfeeding, and you’re struggling to latch the baby, hold your breast in your hand with three fingers below the areola and two above, and shape the breast
• Vinegar and baking soda cleans just about everything
• Your extractor fan has filters. Change them regularly!

There’s a lot more where that came from, and there will probably be a part two at some point, but these are the ones I can remember right now.

What’s some advice you received that changed things for you?

Or if there’s something you need advice on, ask! I might know the answer or my mom might.